Legacy Post – Feat. Sue Simmons, Autism Parenting Coach
Episode 1 takes a look at the developmental approach vs managing challenging behaviour and how this can make a significant change in your relationship with your child.
Sue’s mission is clear: to raise the bar for what is possible for children on the spectrum and to give autism moms back their power by equipping them with insight, confidence, and practical strategies they can use every day.
Transcript:
Hello, everyone. This is Sue Simmons. I’m the founder of Equinox Family Consulting.
I live just outside of Peterborough, Ontario. And first of all, I want to say I’m so happy to be back here on my home turf. I have been in Ottawa with my daughter for the last six months.
It was very unwell. And I’m pleased to say that she is back home and back at school, so life is carrying on. This is my first of many Facebook Lives that I will be doing.
I’m going to be doing a Facebook Live every Thursday. And my mission is to educate you, to support you, to give you really valuable information. And for those of you who don’t know me, I have been working with families affected by autism since 2006.
And I take a developmental approach to autism versus a behavioral approach to autism. And I’ll be explaining really what that means over the next little while. I want to point out the painting behind me.
It was painted by a friend of mine named Cindy Blair, who’s a very fantastic artist, as you can tell. And what I really liked about this, the actual painting is called Tunnel Vision. And I found this right when I started my business.
And I saw it, actually bought it right out of the veranda of their cottage, because each of the little squares reminded me of an individual with autism and just how different every child with autism is. And which brings me to a really important point. I am a firm believer that every child with autism is very, very different.
And I have a huge problem with the Ontario Autism Program, which is taking a one-size-fits-all approach. And you’re going to hear me talking about that. And I’m about to submit a pretty meaty document to some of the media around this, just not bashing ABA, it’s not my place, but to talk about what is possible for kids on the spectrum.
And the sky is the limit. We have to raise the bar, not try to get our kids to fit into a little box so they can appear more normal. So, and I really, really am on a mission to give autism moms back their power.
I recently started a program called the Better Behaviour Boot Camp. We began in January, while I was still operating my little office out of Ottawa at Ronald McDonald House. And in preparation for this program, I surveyed over 150 parents, and I interviewed, personally interviewed, over 40 moms.
And what I discovered was surprising, maybe not so surprising, but still surprising. Even though most of these moms had had their kids in therapy, they still had big, big, big challenges around behaviour. And I have thoughts around that.
I’ll save them for possibly next week. But at any rate, the Better Behaviour Boot Camp is, we just had week six last night, next Wednesday is our last week. And it has been a huge success.
All of the moms have seen really significant shifts in their behaviour with their child. But more importantly, shifts that have allowed them to really connect with their child, and to create a more positive relationship with their child. So, I’m of the mind that moms have really been left out of the loop.
Their child goes off to therapy and then comes back. And it doesn’t work in that way. We can’t farm our child out, bring the child back and expect to have a different child.
It’s not feasible, in my view. So, the Better Behaviour Boot Camp is a very intense seven weeks, and we cover all kinds of aspects around shifting behaviour. Here’s some examples.
I’m teaching all the moms how to use EFT, emotional freedom techniques, which is an energy psychology methodology to help reduce stress. At the beginning, we talk about what really is behaviour, and behaviour is communication. We talk about minimizing meltdowns, what to do when your child won’t listen, the importance of self-care, which is absolutely critical, building your awareness so you can understand really how you’re showing up for your child, understanding the core processing challenges of autism, because we think of autism, or a lot of people think of autism as behaviour, but that’s not the case.
The behaviour is what you see on the surface, but the core processing challenges are much deeper, and those are really what produce the behaviour that we see. We also talk about how to communicate in a way that makes processing easier for your child. We start tracking behaviour, shifting communication in such a way that parents can stop nagging and start feeling a little more positive around their children.
The anxiety curve, understanding emotional regulation, what is that all about? Learning how to manage their own behaviour so that they can be showing up in a way that’s more productive when they are interacting with their child. Let’s see, the importance of slowing down. We often think that more behaviour, excuse me, more therapy is better.
You know, my child’s having this problem, so I’ll take them to see this person, and now I’ll take them to see that person, and next thing you know, the mom winds up really being a chauffeur, and that’s not productive at all. So, thank you so much. It’s so nice to see people there.
I really appreciate this. I will be back doing this again next Thursday, and I’m not sure what I’m going to talk about next week, so you better show up and find out. Thank you so much, everyone.
I hope you’re having a great day, and celebrate the women in your life. Thank you. Bye-bye.
